Good jokes and all facts in real world

1. A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tellsher that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
2. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
3. Three FASTEST means of Communication :1. Tele-Phone2. Tele-Vision3. Tell to WomanNeed still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
4. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
5. A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.Moral : BE SPECIFIC
6. What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time ?It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among allyour Friends.
7. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them. Ant 1 says : we should KILL him. Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone. Ant 3 says : No, wewill just throw him away from our path.Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
8. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
9. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
10. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free youfrom Darkness.Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness - Please PAY theELECTRICITY BILL.
11. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake.
12. “A Ship is always safe at the shore - but that is NOT what it isbuilt for” - Albert Einstein.
Sardarji Tussi Great Ho !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Srdr I haven’t slept all night in the train.Frnd why?Srdr Got upper berth.Frnd Why didn’t you exchange seats?Srdr oye, there was nobody to exchange with inthe lower berth..
Sardar tells a girl “Come 2 my house at nite,nobody will be there…………. Girl goes at night & there was
nobody at home
A Teacher lecturing on population - In Indiaafter Every 10 sec a Woman gives birth to a kid.A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar had twins he named them Tin & Martin.Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.again twins & named Max & Climax.Again the same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED& RETIRED!
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out,climbs tree, sits on the Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.Srdr”I’ve been promoted to branch manager.”
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure asto what to be filled in column “Salary Expected”.After much thought he wrote Yes!
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come tohis college.Why?Because he wanted to check where the questionpaper is leaking…
Sardar told his servant Go and water the plants.Servant It”s Already raining.Sardar So what, take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -What will come first, Chicken or egg?- O Yaar, what ever you order first will comefirst.
Postman- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver This packet to youSardar- Why did you come so far. You could haveposted it….
Sardar proposed to a Girl……Girl said ‘I’m 1 year elder toyou’………..Sardar said ‘Oye No Problem Soniye, I’ll marryyou NEXT YEAR.
Sardar’s wish when i die, I wana die like mygrandpa who died Peacefully in his sleep,not screaming like all the passengers in the carhe was driving..
Sardar at an Art Gallery I suppose this horriblelooking thing is What you call modern art ?Art dealer I beg your pardon sir, that is amirror!
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goeswalking at evening notIn the morning. Sardarji replied ”Arey bhaiManmohan is PM not AM”.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.Man says ‘CHIN YU YAN’ and dies.Srdr goes to china to find meaning of hisfriend’s last words.. it is ‘YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN PIPE !!”